Best laid plans

(This was posted over a week ago, not sure why it has reposted itself now. Bit weird....) 

I am fully aware that this post refers to what can only be described as a first world problem. I know there are people in the world, in our home town, who have no food or shelter and even a moment thinking about such people and situations puts it all into perspective. So please, as you read, know that I am not whinging. We are in such a ridiculously privileged position, any one of us who can even think about nights away or holidays or "treats" of all descriptions. I'm recording this for my own memories as I look back on these days in years to come. It's easy to only share the shiny, positive things but life is real and messy sometimes and that is a part of the good old "rich tapestry!"

Friday night just gone should have been a real treat night for us as a family. Mr. V had a little extra pay last month and we've been having a rough ride of it the past eight weeks or so with just one virus after another for me and the boys. That, coupled with the current limitations on us due to my physical state, had made me start to feel really low in recent weeks; spending so much of my time in the house begins to take its toll.

We had found a great deal for the four of us to spend a night in a hotel just one junction down the motorway from us. Bonkers to some people but with sitting in the car for any length of time often causing me more pain, going further afield isn't an option at the moment. A night away would be an adventure though, we thought, for Noah and for us. There was use of a pool and breakfast included and just the thought of it was giving us something really fun and special to look forward to.

So of course Reuben got croup three days before we were due to go! And Noah complained of earache on and off during those three days. Still, the day came and we deliberated at length (were they both well enough? Would taking them such a short distance down the road to another cosy, warm four walls do them any harm? Would it actually maybe serve as a nice distraction from their aches and sadness?) I genuinely made the decision at least six times, swinging from it being the worst idea to it actually being a great plan for us all. At this point I honestly thought Reuben's cough was improving and so he had probably come through the worst of it.

Oh, how wrong I was. He was set to get worse fast that evening and from almost the moment we collected Noah from school I started to doubt our decision. Even Noah was grumpy and tired. Still, off we went, so that we could be at the hotel by 4 and start to unwind and make some lovely memories. I had scaled down my expectations and accepted that the energy levels may be low but believed we could make it fun. I packed tasty cupcake treats and some colouring for Noah. We would have free wifi so Cbeebies on our phones was a definite option. 

Well, we tried. That's all I can say. Reuben cried almost without stopping for three hours, with just the briefest break when he gave in to sleep momentarily. Noah was utterly miserable and nothing was cheering him up much either. After three hours we knew what we had to do: it was time to quit while we were behind. We packed up (forgot the cupcakes though, so they would have made a nice treat for hotel staff!!) and trekked back down to reception, both boys crying (and me wanting to).

I had seen the evening part of our plans as the best part, the part to most look forward to, with the night all in one room together more as something to just get through before a nice brekky together in the morning. So when the "best" had been truly awful it was time to cut our losses and get us all back to our own beds.

It ended up being a good job that we did as both the boys took a turn for the worse that night, with Noah developing croup and Reuben continuing to cry and cough and struggle to breathe. It's Sunday night now and he's yet to turn a corner or show any sign of improvement. It really has been a tough weekend, hot on the heels of the last bout of croup/flu and chest infections for three out of the four of us. I am finding it really tough to see my baby cry and cry, fighting off calpol like its poison - and giving solid food much the same treatment. It's a horrible virus, worse than the last one, and we just have to ride it out. Noah is coping better than he usually would and seems much worse at night than during the day; his brother has definitely taken the worse hit this time around.

It just had to happen this weekend didn't it. The winter in our family is almost always like this - a series of viruses and infections. Already I feel the early warning signs that I'm about to join my two little troopers with this particular bug. I was praying for them last night and thinking about how comforting it would be if Jesus were here with us in person still. To be able to carry my boys to him and place them in his arms and ask, "please make them well" is just what I want to do. I need to remember that we are doing just that when we pray for them. When I lift them to Him in prayer and ask that He heal them, it really should be no different. Please Jesus, make my babies better from this virus. Strengthen their frames and please bless them with immune systems that fight off the germs the rest of this winter will throw at them. 

Until then, we will cwtch!