Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day

If the stigma is to be lifted on all things related to mental illness, it's probably going to need a few of us who are battling with something to be honest, speak up and stop looking at it as something to be ashamed of. No one is ashamed when they have a broken bone; no one feels a failure when they catch a virus. Yet when it comes to our emotional and mental health, we treat it differently, as if it is something that can be "snapped out of" or just looked at more positively and everything will sort itself out. If you're someone who thinks that, you most likely have been fortunate enough to never have had to battle the darkness of clinical depression, anxiety or any number of other mental illnesses. Long may that continue. 

However, given that something like one in four of us will suffer with mental illness *each year* it's surely time for us to be more open about it. So, on Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day (4/5/16), which just happens to be one day before Reuben turns one year old, I'm sticking my hand up and saying, "Hi. I'm a Mum and I'm suffering with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) following a traumatic delivery and incredibly difficult year."

I'm not sharing this to make anyone feel uncomfortable or for your sympathy - or even advice. No offence! I'm sharing it because I believe it's only when people start to be more open and honest that the shame and embarrassment or discomfort surrounding the subject will begin to gradually lift. Birth trauma specifically is something which has only recently begun to be recognised properly.  It's wonderful that many women have "beautiful" birth experiences that they can treasure and cherish. It's painful to those who haven't sailed through in quite that way. There are feelings of failure, frustration, disappointment, guilt, sadness, dare I say bitterness. 

This is not the place to share much more from my personal situation right now, as I am very much in the midst of it. Reuben turning one is having a real emotional impact too. But to do my part in raising awareness, here's some information you might find interesting. And if you ever feel like I've been rude to you, glazing over or avoiding certain conversations and situations, I hope this may make a little more sense of why that might have been. The ongoing physical effects of Reuben's birth are easier to explain; the emotional effect shouldn't be so hard to communicate.

The symptoms of PTSD include:

Reliving aspects of the trauma:

• vivid flashbacks (feeling that the trauma is happening all over again)
• intrusive thoughts and images
• nightmares
• intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
• physical sensations, such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling.

Alertness or feeling on edge:

• panicking when reminded of the trauma
• being easily upset or angry
• extreme alertness
• a lack of or disturbed sleep
• irritability and aggressive behaviour
• lack of concentration
• being easily startled
• self-destructive behaviour or recklessness.

Avoiding feelings or memories:

• keeping busy
• avoiding situations that remind you of the trauma
• repressing memories (being unable to remember aspects of the event)
• feeling detached, cut off and emotionally numb
• being unable to express affection
• using alcohol or drugs to avoid memories.

You may also develop other mental health problems, such as:

• severe anxiety
• a phobia
• depression
• a dissociative disorder
• suicidal feelings.

The above information is taken from the Mind information page:

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/#.Vym_oHB4WK0

A charity focused on supporting women with postnatal depression and birth trauma, among other things is: https://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk